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Sunday, April 27, 2008

This World Needs An Enema!
I read a story in the newspaper recently that just blew my mind. A man in Reading,
Pennsylvania for an unknown reason, attacked his 63 year old mother in her grocery
store. He picked up and beat her repeatedly with an entertainment center. As if that
wasn't enough, he then used a chair, and finally ended up stabbing her in the
stomach with the broken glass from the entertainment center. His sister-in-law, who
was pregnant, tried to pull him off of the beaten and bloodied woman to no avail.
Then, this absolutely looney individual directed his attack towards his pregnant
sister-in-law, whom he beat severely before fleeing the store. A police officer
arrived to the call and found the man in an alley behind the store. The man resisted
arrest and the officer was forced to shoot him with his tazer gun, which did
NOTHING. Even with thousands of volts of electricity pumping through this guys body
he continued to resist. The officer called for back up and while en route to the
scene two other police cars collided at an intersection, trapping two officers in
the wreckage and severely injuring two other officers in the other car. The officer
at the scene was then forced to shoot the deranged man in the stomach after the
tazer failed to subdue him. Even with a gunshot wound, he still tried to kick and
punch at the police. Exactly what kind of drugs do you need to be on to act like
that? To stab and beat your own mother almost to death and to beat your pregnant
sister-in-law until she's in critical condition is just about as low and inexcusable
as I can think. And to imagine that now the good tax payers of Reading and
Pennsylvania have to pay to feed, clothe, wash and keep a waste of human flesh such
as that is a disgrace. A bullet costs what? 3-5 cents at most! Take him out back
like the dog who bit your neighbor and shoot him in the head. People say, "But
Curtis, he's sick and needs help!" I say, NO, sick people throw up and get diarrhea
and need antibiotics. He is not sick, he is a burden. A burden to his family, a
burden to society, and a burden to the human race. All I ever hear about is the
preservation of life, but why should we preserve life that is infected? Nature has a
way of disposing of that which is no good and human beings are the only creatures on
the planet that try to fight that process. If we'd start disposing of the "sick"
people the gene pool might actually be clean enough to swim in again. If we keep
trying to fix that which is unfixable and hang on to the waste that infects our
communities like compulsive pack rats, this world will only get worse as those genes
spread to the next generation of twisted, no good burdens that we will have to
continue to "fix". Get a grip people. The Joker said it best in the original Batman
movie "This town needs an enema". Well, guess what? This world is constipated with a
whole buffet of life draining waste and it does need an enema. I say kill the "sick"
and preserve whatever sanity this messed up planet has left. -Word-

5:02 pm est

Sunday, April 20, 2008

What Happened to the Porn of the Past?
The pornography of yesterday has long been forgotten and overtaken by an
in-your-face predecessor that has no need for cheesy storylines, flamboyant
costumes, or twangy guitar riffs that once were the foundation for masturbation.
What happened to our porn of the past? It was once an art to figure out how this
curly haired, bushy mustache wearing pizza boy could get from a normal day of
deliveries to doing the nasty with a slim bodacious blonde housewife with teased
hair and overly red lips whose husband has just left for work an hour before she
decided she was hungry for an Italian stallion. These directors were pioneers. They
could take any average day to day activity and turn it into a six person orgy with
midgets, donkeys, and a hairy, fat, well-endowed Jewish man named Ron. These days we
don't get to enjoy the creativity of a perverted middle aged man with a cheap camera
and big ideas. Now every scene is the same. There's a girl. There's a girl with her
finger in her butt. There's the same girl giving oral. There's the same girl giving
vaginal, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, anal and the money shot. She smiles
and scene! Porn of the past at least tried to make believe they were some what in
the movie industry. They tried to make you believe that ridiculously hot nurse in
that tight uniform and high heel pumps wanted that patient to come out of his coma.
That's why she sacrificed her virginity, for his well being. You see, back in the
day, the porn industry, gave a man a fantasy he could count on. Yeah, maybe the
music was a bit much, and the voice overs didn't always sync with the lip movement,
but you were living a fantasy through the eyes of a character you could only dream
of being. These days all the girls look like any ten cent slut you see at the bar,
and it's all about how nasty she can be. Porn these days doesn't give an average guy
hope. It doesn't make the neighbor lady whose always home alone between twelve and
five seem any more seductive. Porn from the past made a man believe he could score
with his history teacher after class if he was struggling with his grades. Porn of
the past made you believe every hitchhiker was a ravenous, incredibly beautiful red
head that was willing to do anything for a ride. Porn of the past gave you hopes and
dreams, and that my friend is what this great nation was built on. Let us not forget
our roots. -Word-
3:01 pm est

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Immigration Nation?
Immigration has been a hot topic for quite some time now and of course, Curtis does
have a strong opinion on that. I was watching a program not too long ago about Ellis
Island and all these immigrants from different countries packing up everything they
could carry, getting on a boat, and coming to the promise land with the intent of
giving their families the brightest future possible. Well, what's the difference
between those people, who stood in line for days just to enter the country,
sometimes being separated from their families and staying in the complex for months
just to catch a glimpse of the American dream, and Jose, who ran across an
unprotected part of our border with his wife and ten kids and now makes as much
money, clear, under the table as I do, working for some rich contractor who doesn't
want to lose his 300% profit margin?? Rules. Immigrants from long ago followed the
procedures this country set in place to become citizens. They filled out the
paperwork for green cards, they got their SSI number, and they learned English
because that was the trade they were willing to make to be an American. These days,
immigrants feel they don't need a green card, who cares about an SSI number, they'll
just take the money I put in over my lifetime of hard "on the books" labor, and why
should they learn English when it would be so much more convenient for me to learn
Spanish? If it was up to me, we'd have a Marine with a rifle every hundred feet of
the border, because I'm sure you'd only have to shoot 10 or 20 a day for a week
before they got the point! And if you think what I'm saying is cold and hateful, go
to hell! Crossing our border illegally is no different than invading our country. In
fact that's exactly what it is. I'm sure if it was a bunch of infidel hating, Allah
praising, Al-Qaeda fanatics, this country would change it's tune REAL quick. I say
if you hire illegal aliens you should be in jail, if you rent them, you should be in
jail, and if you think I should give up my rights and freedoms so someone else who
hasn't sacrificed a thing for this country, no taxes, no SSI, no habla English, can
have it all you should be shot! It's time we grow some balls and stop worrying about
being "PC". Bottom line is, Jose, you need to go back to Mexico, and get the hell in
line just like everyone else who built this beautiful place you're trying to steal.
Get your green card and habla English and I would be proud to call you brother.
Until then, you ain't nothing but a cheatin' ass Mexican fence jumpin' freedom
stealin' punk! -Word!-
5:46 pm est

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

What the Hell is Goin' On Wit My Money?

Money is an issue these days. If you have a decent job, you might get between 3-5% each
year for an annual raise, while everything else goes up 10-15% month to month. Maybe
everything doesn't go up at once, but it sure feels that way. Like dominoes, one month gas
skyrockets, ever so persistently rising, then it's food on the incline. Now I've heard that they
want to deregulate electric in PA so you may see an increase of 30+% in your electric bill.
What the hell is the average person supposed to do? I get by, but every week, I look at my
check and first off, I notice the enormous amount of money that's extorted through taxes.
Where does all that money go? Shouldn't I have a choice in how it's used? After all, it is my
money that I worked some 50+ hours to make. I don't mind being a part of society and
contributing to the growth of our country, but knowing that I'm paying to support able-
bodied ignorant losers who are too lazy to work and use their 7 kids as a scapegoat for a
lack of motivation really pisses me off. Then on top of that, I have to wonder how much
I have to save just in order to pay for the GAS it takes just to commute to my job each
week to make the money that supports these useless people. You shouldn't have to
choose between GAS money and taking your wife out for dinner. Something's got to
give, and unless the people as a whole, the good hard-working citizens, stand up and
do something about it, it will never change. For example, we've dumped billions of
dollars into weapons of mass destruction. We have missiles in silos just collecting dust.
I'm not saying I endorse mass death, but how can they extort money from me to spend
on things we can never use? Instead of sending Americans to be slaughtered in a war
against people who have no care for us, why don't we stop caring about them and show
them we mean business. You may have to sacrifice the innocent to make that point, but
what's the difference between killing innocent men and women in our military and
innocent Iraqis who hate us anyway? I'm just saying, if you want to steal my money, at
least show me you're gonna use it. -Word-

7:52 am est


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CURTIS JONES' MOST POPULAR JOKE 

Beer Brothers        

           
A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one,
then the other, then the third until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold,
so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one
in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still
drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're
drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy's
three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and
orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says,
"Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry that one of your
brothers died."

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

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~Curtis Jones' 13 Signs~
In this page Curtis breaks down the 13 signs that make you whatever it is you may be.

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S**tholes and Shennanigans

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